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The transcript of The Big Cheese
Transcript[]
Act 1[]
Scene 1: Foster's Hallway[]
FRANKIE: This is a really important day, you guys! Now remember, they'll be here at 5, so we have to get everything ready by then.
BLOO: [not liking it] Boring.
MAC: Wow, I can’t believe Foster’s is going to be on TV.
BLOO: [still not liking it] Boring.
FRANKIE: I know, I've been calling the station and working the system for months. [moving the cart] And they're finally coming to do a special news story on us.
BLOO: [still standing and not liking it] Boring.
MAC: And that means more people will learn about Foster's, and more people knowing about Foster's means more adoptions.
BLOO: [Frankie hits him with a broomstick] Bor--ow!
FRANKIE: [to the imaginary friends] Now hurry along, all of you. We only have a few hours to finish. The house and everyone in it has got to be in perfect shape. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.
CHEESE: [off-screen] I like chocolate milk.
[Frankie turns her head to see Cheese.]
FRANKIE: Cheese, how many times do I have to tell you? You don't live here. Go home.
[Cheese just stands there with a short silence.]
CHEESE: [inhales] OK.
[Cheese walks away and Frankie watches him leave. She rolls her eyes and walks.]
Scene 2: Arcade[]
[Mac sees a pile of snack bags and soda cans everywhere on the floor.]
MAC: Ugh! I can’t believe people just throw trash on the floor.
[Mac puts everything in the trash can, and he finds Bloo drinking a soda on a chair, and throwing it on the floor. Mac gets mad, and then Cheese screams in the arcade while Mac and Bloo cover their ears.]
MAC: [pushing Cheese out] Cheese, you don’t live here! go home!
[Mac closes the door and Cheese stops screaming.]
CHEESE: [inhales] OK. [walks away]
Scene 3: Bathroom[]
[Eduardo is taking a shower, while humming the Foster's Home theme. Cheese opens the door and walks up to the shower.]
EDUARDO: [soap gets in his eye] Ow! Oh, that soap is so stingy! [Continues humming]
[Cheese opens the curtains and repeatedly hits Eduardo with a carrot]
CHEESE: I FOUND A CARROT!! [Continues hitting Eduardo with a carrot, repeatedly]
EDUARDO: Señor Cheese, you no live here. Go home.
[Cheese slowly spits a carrot from his mouth]
CHEESE: [inhales] OK. [Cheese walks away]
Scene 4: Foster’s Foyer[]
FRANKIE: Hey Wilt? We're all out of light bulbs. Do you mind running to the store and picking up some more?
WILT: Sure thing!
Scene 5: Foster’s Front Yard[]
[Wilt comes out of the front door and goes to store. He sees Cheese holding his one hand.]
CHEESE: Where we going?
WILT: Well, um, I’m going to the store. You’re going home, remember?
CHEESE: I like the fair.
WILT: Well, maybe you could go home and ask your owner Louise if she’ll take you to the fair. OK?
CHEESE: OK.
[Wilt tries to move his arm, but Cheese is still holding his hand.]
CHEESE: I like the fair.
WILT: Yes, I understand that, [struggles to get free] but I’m going to the store, not the fair, and you need to go home!
[Wilt holds Cheese in the air with his arm, he keeps trying to get him off. Cheese keeps screaming while Wilt tries to get him off back and forth. He finally stops and takes deep breaths].
CHEESE: [lets go of Wilt's hand] Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!
[Wilt runs away after noticing that Cheese is no longer holding his hand]
WILT: I’m sorry, Cheese, but you don’t live here! Go home, please!
CHEESE: [inhales and yells louder] OK! [walks away]
Scene 6: Herriman’s Office / Foster’s Foyer[]
FRANKIE: Hey, Mr. Herriman, the news crew is coming at 5, so make sure you have your office...
MR. HERRIMAN: Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! [Mr. Herriman straightens his carpet using a comb. Frankie smiles and closes the door. Mr. Herriman measures the carpet] I'll be humiliated on live television! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
[Ice cream falls on the carpet. The camera pans left and up to reveal Cheese with ice cream all over his face and body.]
CHEESE: Hi, kitty.
MR. HERRIMAN: Master Cheese, you do not live here! Go home!
[Mr. Herriman kicks Cheese out of his office; Cheese slides on the floor as ice cream splatters all over the foyer.]
CHEESE: [inhales] OK.
[A shocked Frankie looks at the mess caused by Cheese.]
FRANKIE: Ugh! [Frankie loses sight of Cheese, until she eventually sees him walking out the front door.] I can't take this anymore! This has got to stop!
MR. HERRIMAN: Quite right. I have just the solution.
Scene 7: Foster's Front Door[]
[Outside, Mr. Herriman finishes installing a security panel beside the door. He grabs the manual from the box.]
MR. HERRIMAN: Now, let's see. "To program a new code, enter "star-5," master code code number 1 to 32, new four-digit code, the code-number is a double-digit from 1 to 32, press pound to return to ready." Oh my.
[As Mr. Herriman presses buttons on the keypad, one of the doors swing open and Cheese gets kicked out of Foster's.]
COCO: Coco coco co, coco! ["Cheese, you don't live here! Go home!"]
MADAME FOSTER: Yeah, what she said!
CHEESE: [inhales] OK.
MR. HERRIMAN: Ah, Master Cheese. I see you are outside of the house. How convenient. [presses "ENTER" on the keypad] Right. "Step 35. To program an entrance code, it is very important to choose a numerical sequence that is difficult to guess." Ah. Well yes, that makes perfect sense. "Therefore, the manufacturer suggests picking a code at random." Random, hmm? All right then. [Mr. Herriman looks away from the panel and presses random buttons on it; as he does this, Cheese looks at him; he holds the last button for a few seconds] Well, I suppose that is as random as it gets. [reading the manual] "When finished entering your new security code, press enter." [presses "ENTER" on the keypad]
AUTOMATED VOICE: System armed.
MR. HERRIMAN: Ha! Who says you can't teach old rabbits new tricks? Ha! I'll be seeing you, master Cheese. [Goes inside, but quickly comes back outside] Oh wait, I won't! [laughs as he goes back inside the building and closes the door]
CHEESE: [Spinning around on the porch as he repeats the notes of the code] Beep bop boop boop bahh beep boop bah beep beep boop bop boo boop beep, beep bop, boop beep beep bop beep Booooooooooopahh!
Scene 8: Foster's Front Yard[]
[Everyone is outside the house chattering.]
COCO: Co coco coco coco coco?
EDUARDO: No, this is not what I'm wearing for the news story! Ay caramba Coco, I would just die! Señor Mac, when we go back inside?
MAC: I don't know, Ed. Mr. Herriman said everyone in the whole house had to come out immediately. I wonder what it's for.
BLOO: Well it better be something interesting because standing out on the lawn like this is so boring.
MR. HERRIMAN: Attention, all! [everyone looks at Mr. Herriman] Some of you may have noticed that Foster's has been experiencing a string of visits by unwanted, unwelcome guests. Or "guest," to be more precise. So, to alleviate this problem, I've installed this simple, easy-to-use security system. To unlock the house, you need only to enter the password, which I shall demonstrate for you now. [hops up to the keypad, looks away from it, and enters in an incorrect password. Frankie is shocked at the sight of this] And then press enter. [presses "ENTER"] Now, Ms. Frances, open the door. [Frankie tries to open the doors, but they won't budge] Hmm. Well, let's give it another go. [he puts in another incorrect password; he tries to open the doors, but they still won't budge] Hmm. That's strange.
FRANKIE: No it's not! You weren't even looking at the keypad!
MR. HERRIMAN: Well of course I wasn't, Ms. Frances. The code wouldn't be random otherwise. [brings up the manual] The instructions stated quite clearly to enter a code at random.
FRANKIE: [Takes the manual from Mr. Herriman and glances at it] Not random every single time! Mr. Herriman, we're locked out of the house!!
Act 2[]
MAC: We're locked out?
FRANKIE: Yeah. Bugs Dummy screwed up the code.
MAC: But there's only a couple of hours until the news crew gets here.
EDUARDO: And I'm still naked.
COCO: Co coco co coco!
BLOO: And I'm still bored.
CHEESE: Beep bop boop.
EVERYONE: Cheese! Go home!
CHEESE: [inhales] OK.
FRANKIE: Ugh, I can't believe this is happening to me. How on earth are we going to figure out a random code? Think Frankie think.
MR. HERRIMAN: Perhaps it was 65279.
[Cheese sings the notes of the code]
FRANKIE: Cheese knows the code!
BLOO: Let's get him!!!
FRANKIE: What? No! YOU'RE GONNA FREAK HIM OUT!!!
[Bloo, Coco, Eduardo, Wilt, and several dozen other imaginary friends stampede out of the yard to catch Cheese]
[Cheese keeps singing the code, hears shouting, turns around to see all the friends running towards him, screams in horror, and runs away. Wilt is still far behind as Frankie and Mac catch up to him]
FRANKIE: WILT! [Wilt stops running] Quick! Run to the store and buy a net! I think we're gonna need it! [Frankie hands Wilt money and he runs off to the store. Frankie and Mac see the imaginary friends charging towards them. they both scream, and jump out of the way]
BLOO: BACK TO FOSTER'S!!! [Bloo leads the imaginary friend stampede back to the house as we see Cheese in the hands of one of them]
CHEESE: AAAAAAAH, CHOCOLAAAAAATE!!!
[Frankie and Mac run after the imaginary friends as they are led back to the front yard]
MR. HERRIMAN: Alright. Now that Master Cheese is here, we can extract the code from him posthaste.
[Cheese is hurled onto the porch and he starts screaming. Bloo backs away.]
MR. HERRIMAN: Hmm... C Sharp. [pushes button on keypad as Cheese continues screaming. Frankie and Mac, both covering their ears, run to the porch]
FRANKIE: [slaps Mr. Herriman's hand off of the keypad] That's not the code. He's just screaming because SOMEBODY freaked him out!
MAC: How do we get the code now?
FRANKIE: It's fine. We just got to calm him down.
MAC: How?
FRANKIE: Don't worry, Mac. I am a professional caregiver. I can totally handle this. [She starts singing “Rockabye Baby” to Cheese to calm him down.] Rockabye baby on the treetop, when the wind blows the cradle will rock / When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall...
CHEESE: Fall? [continues screaming]
FRANKIE: Oh, geez! Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his...
CHEESE: Broke? [continues screaming]
EDUARDO: I got one. The itsy-bitsy spider...
EDUARDO/CHEESE: Spiders? [both scream]
FRANKIE: [starts singing “Baa Baa Black Sheep” to Cheese] Baa Baa black sheep, have you any…
CHEESE: Sheep? [continues screaming]
MAC: Patty cake, patty cake...
CHEESE: Cake? [continues screaming]
COCO: [singing “Three Blind Mice”] Co co co, co co co.
CHEESE: Coco? [continues screaming]
WILT: Hey, Frankie, I got a net!
FRANKIE: Thanks, Wilt! I need you go get a book of nursery rhymes. Quick, somebody think another song. Something is not scary!
BLOO: I got one! [inhales deeply] Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, little birdie's dirty feet. Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts. floating in my ice cream, and I don't got a spoon.
CHEESE: No spoon? [continues screaming]
BLOO: This is fun!
MAC: [annoyed] Bloo!
[Frankie and Mr. Herriman cover their ears with their hands while Cheese continues screaming]
FRANKIE: [also annoyed, she sighs] Okay, Frankie. You can handle this.
[Frankie grabs Cheese, still screaming, on her arms and they walk away further on the other corner of the stairs]
FRANKIE: [trying to comfort and calm down Cheese using baby talk] It's alright, baby. Don't cry!
[In that very moment, Cheese stops screaming and vomits over the stairs, also staining Frankie's jacket while doing so.]
FRANKIE: [frustrated and disgusted] Feel better now?
[Cheese, with his tongue out following the vomiting, nods. Frankie puts him down.]
FRANKIE: Would you like to sing that song for us now?
[Cheese nods]
FRANKIE: Now how this that pretty little song go?
CHEESE: Baa baa black sheep [imitates gun shooting sounds] Sheep?! [continues screaming]
FRANKIE: [takes out her cellphone to answer the call] Now it’s not the time! Oh, Ms. Peterson, from channel 6.
[Frankie hits her head on the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends sign. Cheese repeatedly bangs his head against it.]
CHEESE: I like this game.
Act 3[]
FRANKIE: The secret code to the security system!
CHEESE: Yeeeeaaaaahh!!! Take a pickle in a car, gives you relish in a jar! Yaaaaaay! Candy candy candy candy candy...
FRANKIE: Cheese, that's the wrong song! I can't give you candy until you sing it right!
CHEESE: AAAAHHHH! But you said! You said lady! Lady, you said! [Takes the bag of rocks as he dashes away from Frankie, knocking her]
CHEESE: I like candy. [sucks on the rock] Candy is broken!
[Cheese throws the rock at Frankie]
FRANKIE: [Frustrated] Help me, Mac! All my life, I've never met, seen or ever heard of anymore more insane, or aggravating, or capable of driving you to the very brink of insanity!
GOO: Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, everybody! Am I late for the news show?
FRANKIE: Oh no.
GOO: Hi Frankie, why's everybody outside?
FRANKIE: Goo!
GOO: What?
CHEESE: [Imitating Goo] What?
FRANKIE: Shh! Alright, that candy thing almost worked. If I just had some real candy.
WILT: Frankie, I have that...
FRANKIE: Thanks, now you go get me some candy!
MAC: Frankie, maybe Goo can help us!
GOO: With what?
MAC: *rapid fire* Okay, so we can't get into the house, 'cause Mr. Herriman installed a new alarm system and plugged in the code wrong and now we're locked out and the only one who knows the code is Cheese. But he only knows it in song form and no matter what we try, we can't get him to sing it to us!
GOO: Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.
CHEESE: I have ringworm.
GOO: Mac, Mac Mac Mac Mac.
CHEESE: Blah, blah blah blah blah.
GOO: Frankie, Frankie Frankie Frankie Frankie.
CHEESE: Blabby, blabby, blabby, blabby, blah, blah, blah.
GOO: Why don't you leave these things to the professionals?
[They stare at each other. Then Goo started to dance. Cheese copied her.]
CHEESE: Beep!
[Goo and Cheese dance]
CHEESE: Bop!
[Goo and Cheese dancing again]
CHEESE: Boop!
GOO: You guys getting this? Beep bop boop! Beep bop boop!
FRANKIE: The code, the code! Beep bop boop, it's the first three notes of the code!
[Cheese and Goo dance]
FRANKIE: Is he broken?
CHEESE: Do it!
GOO: He wants you to do it too!
[Frankie dances along]
CHEESE: OOH!!
[Mac presses another button. Cheese, Goo and Frankie dancing]
CHEESE: Beep
[Cheese, Mr. Herriman, Madame Foster, Coco and Eduardo dancing]
CHEESE: Beep!
FRANKIE: Everyone!
'[All dancing]
CHEESE: Uhh...
[Cheese licks his foot.]
FRANKIE: Just do it! Do whatever he wants!!
[All lick their foot]
[Mac licks his foot and presses another button on the pad. Cheese jumps into the mud. Everyone does the same.]
CHEESE: BAP!! [All dancing in mud] Boop!
FRANKIE: No, wait!
[Cheese throws a rock at one of the house's windows, breaking it. Everyone follows suit.]
CHEESE: BOP!!
FRANKIE: No stop!
CHEESE: BAP!
FRANKIE: Stop!
CHEESE: Boop
BLOO: [laughs] This is so awesome!
MAC: How long is this code?!
CHEESE: Booooooooooop-ahh!!
[Mac presses the final button of the code]
BLOO: Come on, come on, what's next, what's next?!
GOO: I think he's done.
FRANKIE: Done?
CHEESE: Can I have some fishy crackers?
FRANKIE: You're a genius!
CHEESE: Can I have some fishy crackers?
FRANKIE: Did you get it all?
MAC: [feeling tired and exhausted] Yeah, I think I actually did!
FRANKIE: [her face tearing from victory] Do it Mac. Press enter.
[Mac nods and is slowly pointing his finger to press the button, only for Cheese to suddenly get in the way. Mac presses Cheese and his back touches all the buttons]
[Mac and Frankie are shocked]
CHEESE: Yeah! I like fishy crackers!
[Frankie very angrily tries to open the locked door, then turns and with a very menacing glance, points at Cheese]
FRANKIE: YOU!! [Mac is surprised, he and the spider run over] If only you had listened to one of the thousand times I told you, YOU, DON'T, LIVE, HERE! GO, HOME!!!
CHEESE: [turns over] Cheese!
[Frankie also turns over and is shocked to see the news reporting team that have finally arrived]
Wilt: [coming back with a box of candies] Hey Frankie. I got that c- [he also gasps in surprise]
[We get another pan view of the Foster home, looking completely miserable and stained, the same going for all the imaginary friends and Frankie who look surprised]
[Wilt runs away, accidentally leaving away the box of candies that falls on the ground.]
Erin: [with her microphone on, filmed by the cameraman] Imaginary friends, the beloved companions of our children. But what happens to them when their creators are grown. Do they go off to some wonderful care facility that loves and nurtures them? No. Foster's home for imaginary friends. [the camera is filming parts of the destroyed house, with Bloo getting into the picture and attempting to impress] Foster's Home for imaginary friends, and ancient decraidomicial that is fallen into a desperate state of disrepair. a place where imaginary friends are neglected and our cherish childhood memories are forgotten was to live in qualer. A foster home that buys candy. Instead of even the most basic articles of clothing. [the camera films Edwardo, who is seen with no pants on. He blushes and covers himself, trying to move away from the picture but the cameraman moves his camera on him. Edwardo starts crying, Erin having some tears as well.] Tragic. Simply tragic. even the caretakers are insensitive to the plight of these orphan friends.
[The camera moves over to film Frankie, still yelling at Cheese]
Frankie: GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The camera moves to Erin again.]
Erin: By this all stories of misery and suffering there is still courage and hope, just as this little guy right here. [she points the microphone to Cheese]
CHEESE: [singing] Sprinkle sprinkle little bar what I wonder is a cat.
Erin: This heroic little imaginary friend who against all odds can still find a reason to smile.
CHEESE: I have gingivitis.
FRANKIE: [gets into the picture] Yes. Yes! And you can help this wonderful little fella. The friends at Foster's have been suffering. We need your help! We need food.. umm.. umm.. and.. yeah, yeah, shelter... that's it! Because, because, Foster's has been like this for like, always. All we need is some... cash! [she grabs Cheese on her arms] You can help these little friends in need by sending a generous donation to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. [she pets Cheese on his back] 1123 Wilson Way [grabs the microphone] And thank you, for caring!
[Cheese vomits again on the ground, then he gives a little chuckle. Both he and Frankie smile at the camera.]
Final act[]
[We get a new view of the Foster's Home, now fully repaired and back to normal. An electricity system van is also seen parked near the entrance. Then, we get to see Frankie near a repair man that just finished fixing their new security system.]
REPAIR MAN: [while still fixing the final screws with the screwdriver] Here you are, m'am! The finest security system I can buy. [he puts Frankie to sign] With a pretty penny!
FRANKIE: Charity my friend. Sweet, sweet charity.
[The repair man is leaving, while Frankie enters the new code on the security system]
SECURITY SYSTEM ROBOTIC VOICE: system armed
[Frankie enters the house. Cheese then comes over, entering the code as well]
SECURITY SYSTEM ROBOTIC VOICE: system unarmed
[Cheese also enters.]
FRANKIE: [from inside] Cheese, go home!
CHEESE: [also from inside] Okay.
Epilogue[]
CHEESE: [Being interviewed by spunky reporter Erin Peterson in the end credits] I have scurvy. I have dandruff. I have athlete's foot. I have a tapeworm. I have mange. I have dermatitis. I have acne. I have enteritis. I have tonsillitis.