Adoptcalypse Now/Transcript

Transcript[]

Act 1[]

(people chatting)

Huh?

Eduardo: "Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo. Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo. Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo. Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo."

[Coco clucks as she runs by and knocks Eduardo onto the ground. She then slides down the railing of a staircase]

Mac: Ha ha. Come on, Jokey.

Bloo: One more. One more!

Jokey: Okay, Okay. Here's a new one I've been working on all week. It's perfect for today.

[Whispering]

[Laughing]

Jokey: Hike two! Hike two!

[Singing gibberish]

Bloo: Ha ha. That jokey. Sure can tell a mean joke.

Mac: Ha ha. He sure can.

Frankie: Oh, good. I was hoping to find you. Things are getting crazy, and I've kind of go my hands full here. Mind helping wilt out for a bit?

Bloo: Sure. I'd love

Frankie: Uh-uh-uh. Thanks, But haven't we been over this already, bloo? I know you want to be part of all the fun, But you gotta stay inside today. You wouldn't want someone taking you home.

Imaginary Friend: Aah!. Come on, guys. Let's go!

[Cheering]

Frankie: Oh! Come back here!

Mac: Sorry, bloo.

Wilt: Yeah, sorry. You're not missing much. Here. Have a cupcake.

Bloo: I don't want no stinking cupcakes.

Mac: Ha ha. Wilt, you missed it. Jokey told the funniest joke.

Wilt: Really?

Mac: Yeah. It was awesome. I mean, see, there's these two jack rabbits.

Bloo: Not jack rabbits. Jack russells.

Wilt: ha ha. Jack russells are good.

Mac: Yeah. Yeah. Two jack russells on jet skis.

Bloo: And they're both Wearing leg warmers. And one says to the other one, Umhold on. Uhi think I got it.

Mister Herriman: Master blooregard, Going somewhere?

Bloo: I thought I'd get some fresh air. Maybe work on my tan?

Mister Herriman: Have we not Discussed this at length? We can not afford to have you Stealing attention away From other friends, So stay put!

Mac: Ha. Wait. I gotta get this right. It's really great.

Eduardo: Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo. Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo. Hola.

Jenny: Hi.

Eduardo: Huh?

Jenny: My name is Jenny.

(Eduardo screams and runs away from a girl named Jenny.)

Mac: And I think there was Something about a coconut. Hey, I think I got it.

Mister Herriman: Master mac.

Mac: Ah, and now it's gone.

Mister Herriman: Now, we want to place As many friends as possible. The prospective families Will certainly Have questions for you, So be polite and thorough When answering their Respective inquiries. Be sure to sing the praises Of our residents To all the families But steer clear of Hard-sell pressure tactics, As they're most off-putting. Finally, when a friend Is matched with a new family, You are required to complete These forms in triplicate. Need I remind you to print legibly? You think you can manage all that?

WILT: Of course he can. He knows this is the most important day of the week for all us friends. Mac would never let us down, right, Mac?

[Wilt pokes Mac to get his attention]

MAC: Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah. Sure. Right.

MISTER HERRIMAN: Very good. [hops away]

Mac: So, what am I supposed to do?

WILT: Just make sure Everyone's happy.

Mac: Oh, okay.

Mac: So, there's these Two elephants on a yacht And one porpoise says To the other porpoise But wait. [Laughing] Wait, wait. This is the best part! Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait. And the pig says, "He's not a pecan pie. He's my brother!" [Laughing] A pecan pie? Ha ha. My brother? Get it? Well, you should just hear The way jokey tells it. Heh. Stay right here.

Imaginary Friend: Oh, wait. I get it.

Other Imaginary Friend: No, you don't.

Imaginary Friend: You got that right.

Mac: Jokey? Jokey? Jokey? Jokey? Jokey? Jokey? Ah, jokey? Jokey! [Babbling] [All laughing] Hey, jokey! Jokey! Wait up! [Laughing] Jokey! Aw, man. Frankie, you know When jokey's getting back? I gotta get him To tell that joke again.

Frankie: Um, Mac, Jokey's not coming back.

Mac: Of course he's coming back. I need to get that Punch line right, and

Frankie: Sorry, pal, but he's not. Jokey got adopted.

Mac: Adopted? What do you mean adopt? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Why would he be getting adopted?

Frankie: Mac, it's Adopt-a-thought Saturday.

Mac: Adopt-a-thought. Adopt-a-thought Satur-- [Laughing] Aah! Aah! [Screaming]

Mister Herriman: Manners.

Mac: (door slaming) Bloo! Bloo! Bloo! Jokey's gone and he's not coming--

Bloo: Back. Of course he's not coming back. It's Adopt-a-thought Saturday, The day they come to take All our good buddies away. Now Jokey's off being all Jokey With who knows who?

Mac: But what about our jokes? Who's gonna be Jokey with us?

Bloo: Exactly! And who's next? Wilt? Eduardo? Coco? That silly looking guy With the eyes?

Mac: Oh, yeah. I like him.

Bloo: We all like him, Mac. You can like him 6 Ways to Sunday, But that's not gonna Save him now, is it?

Mac: Well, I--

Bloo: Is it?! They try to fool you with the balloons Aad the lemonade, But believe you me, This is a dark day. They want me out of the picture 'cause they know I'm the only one who can stop 'em! (eats the cupcakes)

Mac: So, what's the plan?

Bloo: That's a good question, And I've got just the answer. (burps)

(Mac goes outside with fresh cupcakes)

Imaginary Friend: (Sniffing)

Mac: Hold on, nimos!

Imaginary friends: (All sniffing)

Mister Herriman: So be polite and thorough When answering

Imaginary Friend: Whee!

Bloo: Ohh

Coco: Coco! Coco! Coco!

Coco: Coco!

Coco: Coco.

Mac: Huh? What? What?

Coco: Coco-coco-coco.

Madame Foster: Just what do you think You're doing?

Bloo: Uhooh, well, eh, You know

Madama Foster: You're not gonna let them take My poker buddy, are you? Heh heh heh heh.

Bloo: No, madame.

Madame Foster: Good.

Bloo: Whew.

Mac: Whew.

Coco: Coco.

Mister Herriman: Master mac, might I ask Where you're taking Our good friend coco?

Mac: To get some clothes.

Mister Herriman: Clothes?

Mac: Yeah, clothes. Ah, see, she's embarrassed. [Whispers] coco's nude.

Mister Herriman: Yes, well, "technically," Most of our imaginary Friends are nude.

Mac: Hey, I guess you're right. Pants-less joe.

[Gasps]

Mac: Could you just Stay put already?

Coco: Coco, co, co, coco coco.

Mac: Argh!

Coco: Coco!

Wilt: Coco, what are you Doing inside?

Coco: Coco!

[Bloo laughing]

Bloo: Ha. Hi, guys. What's shaking?

[Door slamming]

[Grunting]

Mac: Now, ed, you, ah

Act 2[]

Eduardo; (screams) What is going on?

Wilt: Yeah, what is going on?

Bloo: What's going on? What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on?

Mac: Bloo, no!

Bloo: It's adopt-a-thought saturday, And coco here doesn't want to Say goodbye to all her friends, So she tried to hide inside So she wouldn't get adopted. Isn't that right, You silly goose?

Coco: Coco?

Wilt: Yeah, okay, but eduardo--

Mac: Wanted to come in here And tell her How cool adopt-a-though Saturday was And how awesome it was That she might get A new home and move away.

Eduardo: ¿Que?

Bloo: That's right. So, go on, and get out of here, And get yourselves adopted, You crazies.

Wilt: Well, okay. If you say so. But still--

Bloo: Oh, that was close.

Mac: What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? This isn't working at all!

Bloo: We've gotta get rid of the enemy Once and for all, And I've got just the plan. Operation abe lincoln drop Purple scaredy can Run and scramble. Tactical maneuvering On the arbor rally poin Will lead to the deployment Of the ultimate weapon That will unleash A devastating chain reaction, The likes of which The galaxy has never known!

Mac: Huh?

Bloo: We're gonna drop This fake spider On eduardo, he'll freak out, And everyone will run away.

Bloo: Now.

Jenny: We have a pool, and we can Go swimming together And play on rafts.

Eduardo: Really?

Jenny: Uh -huh. And we havet these cool sleds, And we can go sledding When it snows. And we have bikes That we can ride around The neighborhood and stuff.

Eduardo: Insecto

Jenny: I usually go With my friend jamie And her imaginary friend chuck, So now we can all go together. Chuck likes to sing a lot

Eduardo: In-in-in-INSECTO!!!

(Eduardo sees the spider goes down and goes berserk and roars and eats the spider as Jenny screams as she's scared. Eduardo runs around and rips the spider in half and roars at the people as they run away screaming.)

Frankie: No, Ed, no. You gotta calm down. You gotta calm down!

Mr. Herriman: Master Eduardo, stop this unacceptable behavior this instant! You're ruining everything!

Eduardo: No! You stop it! Your behavior is unacceptable! You mean meanies! Why you be so mean?!

(Eduardo crying and runs away as Frankie and Mr. Herriman saw him crying and runs behind the house while they run after him as Mr. Herriman hops with the yellow pants.)

Frankie: Ed, wait! I'm sorry! Come back!

Wilt: What the?

Mac: All the friends Are back in the house!

Bloo: Oh, well, of course they are. The plan was flawless.

Mac: I can't believe it worked!

Bloo: Yeah. Me neither!

Mac: No one's making off With our friends today.

Bloo: You got that ri-

Both: behind you!

Bloo: Wilt! So nice of you to come and visit. You look well. How's everything outside? [smiles nervously]

Wilt: [angrily taps his foot] What are you doing, Bloo? You're up to something, and it's not cool, okay?

Bloo: Don't be silly.

Wilt: Then why are all the friends hiding in the house? I know you don't want to lose your buddies, but I'm sorry to say, you're being really selfish, okay?

Bloo: Want a cupcake? [hands him one and walks back to the balcony]

Wilt: Don't change the subject, please?

Bloo: I'm not. I'm unselfishly offering you one of my cupcakes.

Wilt: You know, I'm sorry, Bloo, But it's Adopt-a-Thought Saturday, and well, A lot of our friends May finally have a chance To find new homes To call their own.

Bloo: I know. That's the problem. Timber!

Wilt: Aah!

[Crash]

Bloo: This hurts us more than it hurts you.

Mac: Yeah. Sorry, wilt.

Wilt: No! I'm sorry.

Act 3[]

[Outside where Eduardo still crying and running.]

Eduardo: Leave me alone, you meanies! (crying)

(Frankie runs and stops and feels tired and Mr. Herriman stops hoping along with the yellow pants.)

Frankie: It's okay, Ed.

[Panting]

Frankie: Hey, where'd all the people go?

Mister Herriman: Hmmm?

Bloo: awesome. Everything's cool.

Mac: But the friends are still-

Bloo: Relax. There's no People around. It's late in the day. We can handle this.

Mac: Yeah. We can handle this. What else can happen?

[A School Bus and kids appear]

Mac: Why are you in a school bus? It's Saturday!

Bloo: (Screaming)

Little Girl: I want him!

Frankie: Wait! Not him!

Mister Herriman: Behave yourselves, children. That friend is not up for adoption!

[The scene shows Eduardo is still crying as he sits on the log]

Eduardo: Eduardo no mean to El niño. Frankie and Herriman mean to Eduardo. They es mean meanies!

[Eduardo notices Bloo being chased by the children and Frankie and Mr. Herriman are chasing after Bloo and the children and he thinks they're being mean to them as well]

Eduardo: Hold on, niños! I'll save you from the mean meanies!

[As Mac put some imaginary friends back in the house, he sees the children chasing Bloo as Frankie, Mr. Herriman and Eduardo are chasing after them. Back inside the house, Mac stuffs Coco inside a clock in the waiting room]

MAC: [listing off all the friends he's gotten back in the house so far] Coco, Lemon Lenny, Harry Herman, Fuzzy Fred, wilt, Zornon, Zornat, Zacsnort, and Dennis. Lingo Ringo, Ringo Rango, And [gasps] Eduardo!

[Eduardo growls]

Mac: Help! Help! Eduardo! Help! Frankie and Herriman are being mean to me!

Eduardo: You meanies! No be mean to Señor Mac!

[Eduardo runs and Mac shuts the door and Eduardo crashes into it and Mac holds Eduardo and pulls him inside the house.]

Mac: Hey, guys, where you been?

Frankie: Where's bloo?

Mac: In the house.

Mister Herriman: Where are the children?

Mac: Just took off.

Frankie: Where are all the friends?

Mac: Just adopted off the last one.

Mister Herriman: And the paperwork?

Mac: Uh, Right here.

Mister Herriman: Well, I suppose That is that, then.

Mac: Suppose so.

Frankie: I gotta say, mac, You're quite the salesman.

Mister Herriman: Indeed.

Bloo: Hey, everyone.

Frankie: What was that all about, bloo? I thought we told you To stay inside.

Bloo: Guess I was getting A little stir-crazy.

Mister Herriman: Well, all in all, A perfect end to the day.

[Cuckoo clock chiming]

Coco: Coco! Coco! Coco! Coco! Coco! Coco!

Bloo: It's a christmas miracle!

Mister Herriman: Name of friend, so-and-so, Adopted to mr. Man And lady ladington? This is preposterous poppycock!

Wilt: Sorry, but believe me, This hurts me More than it hurts you.

[End of the episode]